Tips To Create More Fun And Playfulness With Your Partner

robo-moMy husband and I spend a lot of time together. We have gone on 3-week vacations together, in which we are with each other almost 24 hours of every single day. And like any other couple, we do have friction from time to time, but we never get tired of being around each other. We haven’t needed to “take a break” or retreat to our respective “caves”.

Why? My theory is two-fold. We are able to spend so much time together because we allow each other our own space (even when we are together) and because we are playful and have fun with each other.

While writing this, I realized that having a great relationship with someone really has more to do with having a great relationship with yourself first. Think about it…if you have a lot of doubts, fear and negativity in your own life, what do you really have to offer to another person, besides a warm body at night?

A common value that my husband and I share is that we are both COMMITTED to evolving and growing as human beings first – in our work, life, spirituality and relationships. We are both continuously working on being the best human beings we can be. The positive benefits of living this way automatically drip over into our relationship with each other.

We are far from perfect, and still have our quibbles, but I have pondered what makes our relationship fun and work so well for us. This is what I have come up with and hope that my relationship tips can help you in your relationship.

Don’t Take Life So Seriously
More than a few times, I have gotten caught up in the ridiculous delusion of taking life too serious. A recent example is when I got an attitude with my husband for making me late to an appointment because he wanted to stop at the post office beforehand to pick up a package. The woman at the post office couldn’t find his package and ended up spending 20 minutes looking for it. I waited outside in the car, frantically texting him to make sure he was aware that I was going to be late.

As he casually strolled out to the car, I lost it. How inconsiderate of him to not be rushing as if his life depended on it. Then he got in the car and leisurely searched for his sunglasses and put them on before starting the car. I was on fire.

This would have been the perfect time for a self-reminder not to take life so seriously. But no, I had to grill him first and try to manipulate him into feeling guilty for his inconsiderate actions. I was on a roll. I was clutching onto anger and unwilling to let it go. And all for what??

NOTHING.

Thankfully he didn’t entertain my negative reaction and turned up the radio and started to sing.

JFZ (Judgment Free Zone)
My husband will actually sing out the above phrase to me when he feels that I am judging him. It snaps me out of my judgment mode and actually makes me laugh. Open communication creates emotional connection and bonding. The death of a relationship is when one partner or the other feels unable to openly express themselves without being judged by the other.

Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances. ~ Wayne Dyer

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge. ~ Wayne Dyer

Get Over Things Quickly
I have learned that feeling good is way more important than holding on to grudges or anger. I see feeling negative as poison and want to get it out of my system as soon as possible. I am much quicker now to release negative feelings than I used to be. What used to take me days to get over now takes me just minutes or seconds. I have learned to just let it go. Being happy feels so good.

Always Be Learning
Once you stop learning, you are boring. If you don’t question yourself or life, you are boring. My husband and I are always learning new things. It keeps life and our relationship interesting. Currently, our “thing” is that once a week, we plan something new to do. Last week, we went to Bingo night, which neither of us have done before. This week we are going ghost hunting.

Make the Mundane Insanely Fun
This boils down to having fun no matter what you’re doing or where you’re at. It’s all about the attitude you choose to have. It’s about being random. Doing what you feel like doing without caring what others think. My husband and I do this all the time, every single day.

An example is when my husband left for work one morning and called me just 10 minutes after leaving. When I answered he said “hi”. I was surprised and touched that he was calling just to say hi. Then he immediately said “bye” and hung up. I almost died laughing.

Aside from being random, we make everything into a game. While watching the previews at a movie theater, we will say “yay” or “nay” at the end of each preview signifying whether or not we would watch that movie.

It’s little things like this that add so much fun to what could otherwise be considered mundane.

Don’t Compare. Just Appreciate.
When someone appreciates the work you do or the person you are, how does it make you feel? Great right! This is true of all of us. When I tell my hubby how much I appreciate everything he does for me, it makes him want to continue to do things for me. When he tells me what an awesome woman I am, it makes me want to always be an awesome woman. Focus on and appreciation of the positive aspects of your partner will create more of the positive. Focus on the negative aspects and you will get more of the negative. It’s your decision.

Relationship Tips For Connecting Communication

Triangle_300xHave you ever been trying to talk with your partner about an issue that is difficult for you or has been a point of disagreement between the two of you and one or both of you simply shut down and close the other out? As you probably already know, the way in which you communicate about this tricky topic can make the difference between you two moving closer together and reaching a resolution or the two of you moving further apart.

You may have experienced past discussions where, on some level, communication breaks down and one or both of you disconnect. This place of disconnection is not only detrimental to you and your mate reaching a satisfying agreement about the tricky topic, it can also stand in the way of your relationship being as close and loving as it can be.

Here are 10 relationship tips to help you connect while communicating…

Tip #1: Tune in first

If at all possible, take a few moments by yourself to tune into your feelings about what it is you want to communicate with your mate. Ask yourself if there are other factors contributing to you feeling stirred up about the issue, acknowledge them and then approach you partner from a calmer and clearer place.

Tip #2: Intend to connect

Again, before you approach your love to talk, take even a couple of seconds to set an intention. Make it your intention and priority to connect with your partner. Sometimes challenging discussions turn into a competition about who is right and who is wrong. Enter the conversation intending to connect as you communicate. This intention can help set the tone for your whole exchange.

Tip #3: Speak with integrity

Just because your intention is to connect, we don’t encourage you to be dishonest about how you are feeling or what you want. Connection is not about always agreeing or going along just to keep the peace. Know what is true for you and then be courageous enough to stand by what you want and believe.

Tip #4: Avoid telling stories

We all engage in some amount of “storytelling” or making assumptions about someone else’s experience or thoughts. Become aware of the stories you tend to tell yourself about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Ask yourself if you know those stories to be true and if you don’t, be willing to let go of (or at least temporarily suspend) those beliefs.

Tip #5: Make communication agreements

If necessary, ask your mate to make an agreement with you about how you will communicate before you begin your discussion. You might choose to set a timer to ensure that you each have uninterrupted time to say what you need to say and then listen to the other person during his or her time. You could also agree that if either of you need to cool off while communicating, you will allow that time but will also specify a new time in which you two will come back to the topic.

Tip #6: Focus on feelings

As you speak with integrity what is true for you, keep yourself focused on feelings. Using “I statements” can be helpful. For example, “I feel fearful when I don’t know your plans.” If you find yourself saying something like: “I feel that you are lying to me,” this is not an “I statement.” Emotions such as mad, angry, sad, frustrated, glad, and happy can help you effectively say what you are feeling.

Tip #7: Be curious rather than accusing

Perhaps the biggest way to shut down communication is to launch accusations at your mate. If your intention is to communicate to connect, then try to shift away from accusing. Instead, get curious about what is going on for your partner. For example, rather than accusing him or her of forgetting a date with you, make a request for information– and truly be curious about the answer. You might combine an “I statement” with curiosity and ask something like: “I felt worried when you didn’t meet me for dinner at the cafe last night. I’m wondering if we miscommunicated about the time of the date or if something happened to prevent you from meeting me?”

Tip #8: Know your partner’s triggers

If you’ve been with your mate for a period of time, you probably know what triggers him or her. These triggers could stem from past experiences– even all the way back to childhood. Irregardless, be aware of specific words or phrases that are “hot button” for your partner and make different choices. They are undoubtedly different triggers than you have, but honor them just the same.

Tip #9: Stay open and present

A conversation is most certainly a two-way exchange. While you can’t force your partner to act or react in particular ways, you can encourage openness as you, yourself, stay open. Listen to what your mate has to say rooted in this present moment. Try not to zone out or fixate on what you plan to say next. Give your partner the presence and openness that you would like given to you.

Tip #10: Learn a new “dance”

Just about every relationship falls into patterns and habits that help create a dynamic or “dance” the two people usually repeat over and over again. If your relationship “dance” has been to communicate in ways that are disconnecting, recognize that and learn a new “dance.” Without judgment, identify the habits and patterns that prevent your relationship from being as close and connected as you’d like it to be and then take steps to release the old and create something new.

Healthy Relationship Tips

202f3c5d7359447986bb7e2fbedc02eeAre you always looking for healthy relationship tips? Do you sometimes wonder whether you’re doing all you can to make the most of your relationship? Do you need help making love last? Most of us need some advice from time to time, and sometimes healthy relationship tips can come from unexpected places. Often, though, the answer is where you least expect it to be – inside yourself.

Start With a Smile

Have you ever noticed that a yawn is contagious? What about a smile? A smile that starts from the eyes and involves all the muscles of your face – in other words, a real smile, is contagious – just like a yawn is. People who see genuine smiles on the faces of others feel like smiling themselves.

One of the best healthy relationship tips is this: Smile at your partner as often as possible. Look in his or her eyes, think about how wonderful he or she makes you feel, and smile slowly. The response will be instantaneous, and negativity will melt away.

Listening

When is the last time you really stopped to listen to what your partner had to say? Actively listening to the person you care about most means participating in a conversation together. Listen to what he or she is telling you, and don’t feel like you’ve got to offer advice. If you understand, say so. If you agree or disagree, talk about why you feel that way. Really listening is one of the best ways to show your partner that you value his or her feelings, and it’s a great way to improve a relationship.

The Gift of Friendship

If you are not good friends with your partner, ask yourself why. The point of an intimate relationship should be to form a lasting friendship, and to create an unbreakable bond that can withstand anything. Healthy relationships are based on mutual trust and understanding. If you want to love each other, you’ve got to like each other, and that means being friends.

Everyone Needs Space

You, and your partner, need the space to be yourselves as individuals. Healthy relationship tips always tell us how to be together – but, how can we be apart? Take some time for yourself each day, and be sure to work on aspects of yourself that need improvement. Find a way to share what you’ve learned. By respecting boundaries and personal space, you respect each other as individuals. Healthy relationship tips tell us that respect is one of the finest aspects of love – so be sure to nurture it.

Togetherness

Last, but certainly not least, find time to spend with your partner each day. Even if you’re apart, make time to talk on the phone or chat online together. While you and your partner do need space and time to work on self improvement, you should never feel like you’re all alone within your relationship. Healthy relationship tips have proven time and again that spending quality time together strengthens bonds and helps us make it through tough times. So enjoy little moments together, and find new ways to appreciate the love you share.

Tips to Keep Your Woman Happy

Tips-To-Keep-Your-Husband-HappyGuys, do you know how to handle relationships? Here are some relationship tips for men to help you keep your woman happy.

Ten Relationship Tips For Men To Keep Your Woman Happy

Tip 1. The first of my relationships tips for men is to always be yourself. I don’t know why it is, but many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they feel they have to put on a show. But, you know something? Most women will tell you that a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that women find more attractive than physical looks.

Tip 2. you don’t have to be over elaborate to impress her. Little things mean a lot. Things like leaving a note for her in the house, saying simply “I love you”, or giving her a bag of her favourite sweets from time to time. Most men think in terms of grand gestures, when in actual fact all the little things you do can add up to a long and lasting relationship.

Tip 3. If you really do want to keep your woman happy, let her know you appreciate her, and never EVER take her for granted. Let her know how much you value her opinions, and how much you enjoy her company.

Tip 4. Never, ever eye up other women when you are with her. If you do, she will be inclined to think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. Woman have a biological need for monogamy and trust, so resist your natural urges to ogle other women when she’s with you.

Tip 5. The next tip to keep your woman happy is to make her laugh. Unlike men, women list a good sense of humour ahead of good looks and a nice body, so keep her laughing, and there’s a better chance the relationship will last.

Tip 6. Try to find common interests. It may well be that you got together through sharing a interest or hobby, but it does no harm whatsoever to try and develop an interest in a passion that she has. This will show her that you really care about her.

Tip 7. Don’t get sloppy. Just because you got the girl, it doesn’t mean that you can let your appearance go. You may think you don’t have to try anymore, but she will appreciate the fact that you continue to present yourself as being clean, neat, and well groomed.

Tip 8. Make an effort to impress her parents and her girlfriends. If you want to keep your woman happy, she will have to be relaxed about bringing you in to her social circle. Most women need to have reassurance that they have made the right relationship choice, and that will come if you have made a favourable impact on her friends and parents.

Tip 9. Always be considerate and respect her feelings. If you have been dumped and trying to win your ex back, being considerate and respecting her feelings are a must if you get a second chance.

Tip 10. The last of my relationship tips for men to keep your woman happy, is to be open minded to trying new things. When you first start dating everything you do together is new, but after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship is becoming stale, then consider doing different things together.

Follow these ten relationship tips for men, and you will keep your woman happy. If there are problems in the relationship and you are trying to save your marriage, or even get your ex back, this advice works. There’s nothing new or magical here, just plain common sense, so make the effort, and watch your relationship blossom.